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It’s wedding time, and the invite business, sticky-note-wise and otherwise, is already bedecking the break-room bulletin boards.
One, fiercely engraved, says:
Mr. and Mrs. Herrick Kinsley Postough
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Mr. Jeremey Allan Glanzich
Saturday, the sixth of June
Two thousand and ten
at six o’clock
Church of the Best Birthings
856 Interbred Road
Then there is another, simply thermographed, with an entanglement of wedding rings dancing round its margin:
Ms. CAUSELINE ROBERTA INGAWE THOMAS
and Mr. ALBERTO FRANZ DiFOCCO
along with THEIR CHILDREN (from a number of previous marriages)
cordially invite YOU to join THEM
as they SOLEMNIZE their
REAFFIRMING PERSONALLY SACRED VOWS OF HOLY MATRIMONY
June 6, 2010
(Saturday, starting at 5 p.m.; continuing until closing)
Monimo’s Gyros Take-Out and Kurdish Dip Bar
528-K 4326 E.128 St.
New York, NY.
(Cash bar only.)
Please R/S/V/P at firstname.lastname@example.org
What is one supposed to do, when such invitations appear out of nowhere, briskly pinned up on the cork board in the office break room?
One may assume that Margienne’s invite, deeply engraved, is stuck there simply for purposes of information, intimidation and the setting down of boundaries.
Causeline’s invitation may be asking for something more — especially if it’s accompanied by a sign-up list for the
“IT Office Pot-Luck Lunch and Second-Time-Around Wedding Shower,”
focusing on wine and
gifts they might use for their children, ages 9-13
(registered at Target.com, including kitchen utensils)
Large Break Room
Please sign on, below.
Guests are requested to clean up after themselves.
Must you sign on? (Of course not.)
Must you show up for the party? (No, especially if you have no interest in being involved in any office wedding showers, ever again.)
Must you bring a gift, if you show up for the party? (Not necessarily, since, in many instances, the dictum is “your presence is your present.” A fruitless and ineffectual dictum, if there ever was one. It’s useful, always, to stop by the wine store, or by a shop that hawks clever cocktail napkins.)
What’s more, if you don’t take a present to the party, age-old propriety maintains that you don’t eat the cake. That’s the basic trade-off.
Age-old propriety is full of itself.
Go to the party. (Go on-line; send Causeline the Target-store garbage can she’s been dreaming of.)
Eat the cake.